here come the drums

Fuck this place. People ask why someone would stay in a town that you hate with such a passion but at the same time those same idiots ask you what time it is when they are standing below a clock with the arms pointed at their head. I don't have a car, why would you anyway? Only rich bastards have something like that. In a town, scratch that, in a land full of opportunity you would believe that someone would have thought up a better plan for a city than this. Yes, it's all built on grids and that's fine and dandy but what about those of us that live there. Day in and day out you are stuck walking the paths that you know millions have done the same thing on. Nothing changes. Nothing ever changes. Yeah the bums change but this isn't fucking Tokyo, this isn't New York, hell even as much as you wish it might be it, it's sure as hell not London. No, this is Chicago and there isn't a place of the town that you want to be in for more than a few hours before you realize just what shit you've landed yourself in. Looking around, okay maybe I have to admit that it isn't the worst in the world. I've seen worse places in the world, I've seen slums and I've slept on benches, and okay at least I have a nicely decorated flat in the middle of town overlooking a park that I am sure was designed by a gay Japanese man on a bad day, but after this long, you'd think something would change. It hasn't. Nothing has ever changed. Welcome to Chicago, motherfucker.

You aren't ever leaving now. And you'll be stuck here with me as I attempt to keep my chin up in a country that doesn't want me and in a town that will chew you up and spit you out. Maybe it's an exaggeration, I take full blame for the fact that I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about ninety percent of the time. I don't blame you for not wanting to know more about me or about the world I live in. Honestly, when you get past everything that might sparkle from the outside and realize just how rotten something is inside, you wonder what possessed you to come closer. What drives people to learn more about someone they don't even know? Do you want to know me? I can promise you that you won't like me. I don't even want you to like me. In fact, I want you to be repulsed. I want you to back way slowly as if I've just murdered your cat in front of you and swung it by the tail in front of you while laughing. Have I done that? Have I covered a house in the blood of innocent animals for the idea of fun? Who wouldn't if given the chance? Which one of you would simply sit back and believe that you were perfect and everything in the world had the wings of an angel attached to it? There are demons out there and though I may not look it, nor act it, I can assure you that I am part of a collective that does not give a shit about what you may believe or what you may think is right. We exist because we don't care. Because we were pushed into this existence and because, well, it's more fun being the bad guy. Who wants to pretend that everything is just peachy mckeen in the world when you can be the trendsetter, when you can decide who lives and who dies in a world of confusion and a life of your own making? Okay, maybe I'm coming across as a bit of a freak. That person in a trench coat that wants to blow your head off because no one would share candy with me at recess. Maybe that is a bit too much as well. Is it too soon? Should I draw comparisons to something less tragic? I think not. It's the past people, should we stick a stigma to everything and say that it is taboo for the rest of our natural born lives? It's a ludicrous thing to think that forever I will be told that I'm rotten because I talk about a tragedy that hurt people. Fuck it, I'll do what I want and honestly, I've told you once because I don't care.

I'm part of the scene. I'm the kid with piercings and tattoos and the hair that makes people around me just want to know who let me out of the house like this. They want to know what people have done to me to make me into what I am now and when the dust clears every night and I drag myself out of my work and back to my flat, there are times that I wonder as well why I do this. Why I push myself to the limits doing something that really doesn't matter. It's just a scene, it's just a town and it's just my life. But it matters to me because that is exactly what it is. It is my life, it is my right and it is my point is all of this to point out that this is basically what I live for. Is is something you might want to do? I doubt it. Is it something that sounds like the rest of the world should know about it? Highly doubtful. I look important, I might even be important but the truth of the matter is, I get text messages at seven am wondering if I'm going to be online soon, if I'm going to be updating the newest MySpace bulletin. I'll get to it when I wake up. Honestly, I just crawled into bed a few hours ago. I realize that the party ended ages ago, that things wind down a little before five every night but it doesn't mean that I get home until the sun comes up. Trying to live this dual life is nearly impossible, but I do it. I do it every day because I love it. But sitting on the cold metal seats of the train going back and forth is about to want to make anyone drive a steel rod through their skull and hope for the best. No one told me it was going to be like this two years ago. To think that I came here as an innocent little kid just off the bus, well plane, I would have laughed at you. To be where I am now? To say to people that I live here in this town where most people just want to quote Blues Brothers at you and ask if you've ever made the Blues Brothers drive, which I haven't. Well, I need to get out of here. Anyone that knows me knows that as well. I guess it doesn't matter. If I'm going to start pulling the David Copperfield shit out, I should give you time to get some popcorn. It might help. I think you might want to settle in with some snacky treats and hope that maybe things aren't as bleak and depressing as I make it. Trust me in a town you can't smoke in waiting for the train, things can't get much more bleak.

bitches i moved. maybemaybe

Hi all, the lovely mods of SF are working on a new game. It's over at hexennacht and we'd love to know if your characters would like to be involved. It's a continuation of SF itself so, we really want the characters you have here that we all love to be there as well. So, give it a look and comment here or there or just ping us and tell us if you want us to add your character up. Don't even have to make a new journal, we'll just transfer them over there. Though, it's not quite ready yet, so give us a bit to finish it up. But, we won't advertise until we know the actual character count from all of you. So basically, even if you've quit SF, we'd like you to give it a look. We hope this will inspire characters to come back from the dead and really would like to try and get it moving pretty soon.

Dear Sfers/Former Sfers,

Currently we are in process of changing the game. We realize that a lot of people lost focus with their characters and those of us still in it are going to put together something totally brand new. I figured I'd say something in case anyone was actually interested but this isn't going to happen overnight...it might but you never know. Right now we have a loose plot which would be a lot like SF ie the game we've had since three years ago, but with a totally different atmosphere and feeling. But we are going to need a bit of time to get it pretty and wrapped up in what it should be. So, I guess what I'm saying is if anyone would like to help us out or would like to know more, just let me know.

Those of you still in SF we'd like to know if your characters would like to have a part in what we are coming up with, order members will hate what's going to happen but we are going to get rid of Riddle. I know, shock. Um. Yeah. So bear with us right now as we attempt to do what we can to get the game restarted and hopefully those of you that have lost interest in characters can find the muses again.


The Serfs. ...Alex came up with that. I swear.

Oh my god. I need a moment of silence. Seriously.

Until There's Nothing Left of Us by Kill Hannah


( Intro )

( Believer )

( Lips Like Morphine )

( Black Poison Blood )

( Love You To Death )

( The Collapse )

( Statues Without Eyes )

( Crazy Angel )

( Under the Milky Way )

( Songs That Saved My Life )

( Scream )

Nightmare Anatomy by Aiden

( Breathless )

( Die Romantic )

( Enjoy the View )

( Genetic Design for Dying )

( Goodbye We're Falling Fast )

( It's Cold Tonight )

( Knife Blood Nightmare )

( See You In Hell )

( The Last Sunrise )

( The City is Far From Here )

( Unbreakable )